it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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