You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
