I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize