She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
