Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
