we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
