Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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