He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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