And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
