I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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