im drinking this country out of the recession.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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