Fuck appropriateness.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
