is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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