actually, I'm a sock model
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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