i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
