Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
