I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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