What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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