Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
