so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
