I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he high fived his dick after we had sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
