thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize