Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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