I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's get the cat blown out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize