i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
