Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
