ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
