Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
4 words: hood of his car
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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