I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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