Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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