I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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