sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
