: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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