Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
