dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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