I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
