i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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