I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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