I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he was CRYING into my vagina
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
