Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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