I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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