Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize