found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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