just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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