We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
