your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
