I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
