i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
