I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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