He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
