sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize