if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
