Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you traded sex for a burrito?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He passed out mid-signature
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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