She's JV to your varsity
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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