you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
