Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
