Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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