Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
