I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
