wakey wakey hands off snakey
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
