you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
